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Jan. 25
Ow!!! My ferret Tiny bit me on the finger, which is partly the reason
I am writing with my right hand instead of my usual left. Not that I write
any different with the two hands—but still, I like writing with my left
hand better. Joan set Tiny on me after I spit on her because she said that
my essay was the worst she had ever seen. It’s not my fault!!!!!
Jan. 26
OH MY GOD. I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS HAS JUST
HAPPENED. Okay, look. We were going to visit Aunt Garcia in the
stupid nursing home. So far, so good. And we entered the nursing home.
The beak-nosed woman at the desk told us to wait “a sec”. Hour, more
like. And then Aunt Garcia comes tottering down, tripping over stairs as
usual, muttering in her fatalistic way that she’s going to die. Her dress is
yellow with red polka dots, and her frizzy gray hair sticks out everywhere.
Putrid liverwurst sticks out from her mouth. Aunt Garcia punched the
wall and kicked the chairs and told everyone that they were demons. And
then she came to us. TO US! How dare she?! And Aunt Garcia just looked
at us—and then—I hardly dare to write this—SHE SPIT ON MOM!!!!
Jan. 27
After she spit on Mom, she just went back up the stairs with
THE JOY OF WRITING
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everybody giving her the Look. Of course Mom blames the entire affair
on Aunt Garcia’s craziness, but I mean, well, like to SPIT ON YOUR
OWN NIECE!!!
Jan. 28
The cousins—Randy, Arthur, and Elizabeth—are here. And so is
disaster. Arthur is about my age, while Randy is Joan’s age. Elizabeth is
only three and will be kept with Auntie Millie, thank goodness. But I can
already see the mischievous look on Randy and Arthur’s faces. Oh, darn,
they’re at the door. Gotta go.
Jan. 28
HOW DARE THEY!!!! THE BLASTED COUSINS!!!! Oh, I am
seething!!! And now I have a worm - a chewed up, slimy, mushy DEAD
worm in my stomach!!! To think of that emerging from my gluteus
maximus when I am on the toilet!!! And Mom is letting them STAY FOR
ANOTHER NIGHT!!!! How dare she!!! When her own daughter is
suffering from digestion problems, she lets the CULPRITS stay and BE
WELCOME at our house!!! The beep beep beep cousins!!!!
Jan. 29
At least Auntie made them apologize nicely enough. I saw Randy
cross his fingers (which makes it unofficial) behind his back, though.
There were pancakes with maple syrup for breakfast to brush away the
entire affair, though. Yum!!!
Jan. 30
If I ever get this journal published, I think I will take out the first
parts. Because I sort of like this journal now. Anyways, nothing that fun
really happened today. Tomorrow’s Joan’s dance.
Jan. 31
Oh, I am stuffed. And I mean stuffed. You would not be able to guess
how many refreshments there were at the dance. And there were
SOOOO many cakes and cupcakes and muffins and doughnuts and big
dishes of ice cream. Plus Mrs. Chen (whose daughter is Joan’s best friend)
made her spicy Chinese noodles, which tasted really good. I had THREE
BOWLS!!! THREE BOWLS OF NOODLES!!! And furthermore—Ms.
Untermeyer from Joan’s homeroom made the most delicious chocolate
chip cookies!!! The principal, Mr. Osborne, made lemonade and fruit
punch!!
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